Doors and Sardines

"If we can just get through the play once tonight - for doors and sardines. That's what it's all about, doors and sardines. Getting on, getting off. Getting the sardines on, getting the sardines off. That's farce. That's - that's the theatre. That's life." ~ Noises Off

If you're a theater person, you've probably seen Noises Off. And if you haven't, stop reading my blog and go watch it right now. It's hysterical. It's my favorite comic play. But anyway....

Sometimes directors and actors get bogged down in details. They tell you not to raise your arm, or raise your arm on THAT WORD.....making the poor actor feel like a robot instead of a person, let alone an artist.

Sometimes, it's the actors who can't see the forest for the trees.

I can't tell you how many times during the rehearsal process for the play I'm currently in I've heard "Where's the door?" And then the director will walk onto the "set" (which is really just taped off sections of the floor in the church where we rehearse) and point to where the door is on the floor......only to have the actor ask "And does it open in or out?"

Dude......wait, before I fly off the handle, let me say that I mean no disrespect, and I don't mean to sound flip but....

Aren't we all adults? Don't we walk through doors every day? Does this actor wake up in the morning and think "Oh my god, I'm going to walk through doors today and I DON"T KNOW WHICH WAY THEY OPEN RIGHT NOW!!!!!" ?

I doubt it. I bet when he comes to the door, he just opens it.

Which is why I do not understand why actors get flustered about this during rehearsals. If you're rehearsing in a church basement.....there's no door, there's probably no furniture you're really going to be using on set either, and heads up, there aren't any props, or costumes or audience.....so why would you worry about the door swinging in or out at this point? When the set gets built, you'll see the door and you'll figure out how to open it. Trust me. You're a big boy. You put your pants on every morning and you face the world. I don't think a non-existent door on a non-existent set is anything to waste the rest of the actors' time with.

Just learn your lines and focus on your character and the doors will sort themselves out when they're built.

So yeah.....everybody take a deep breath and enjoy the forest without picking on every single tree. Your cast will appreciate it.